My Dad is comin home today! P.S. I'm a dork! lol

Yay!!! I’m so excited!!! I can’t wait to see him!!! We’re goin to his favorite place to eat Bari Bari located in my favorite city YORBA LINDA! lol its gonna be a good day :) and a possible trip to disneyland tomorrow with the MOST gorgeous guys! Honestly what more could a girl ask for? Well… lol actually there is A LOT MORE I want to ask for ;) lol just a boyfriend! You nasty freaks, I know what you were thinking!!! Lol. Dang I just put a dirty joke in a post about my Dad…. AWKWARD!!!!… Lol now I really do know what youre thinking… this girl is a freak!…. well you’d be right so it’s ok. :) Thats something my Dad taught me, you gotta accept who you are and embrace it. :) Didnt think I’d figure out how to get back on topic huh? lol well check out my genius! lol ok for reals I’m such a dork lol its cool only 3 people follow this anyway and you guys know how weird I am already. Damn I had it but no I had to congradulate myself… smh. Well yea so my Dad lol Gotta love him <3 He seriously is the best :D Which is why he will probably maybe be cool with me going to disneyland tomorrow lol I’m just gonna leave out the detail about the gorgeous guys lol yea thats probably for the best :) so ttyl tumblr I will probably write some more later tonight and i gotta work on my next top five list :) so yep BYE INTERNET!!!! :p

My Top Five Actors Who are Gorgeous and Under Appreciated

So I had an awesome idea lol :) I am going to blog some top lists :) Starting with attractive actors who are under appreciated

5. Joe Manganiello

Currently playing the sexiest werewolf in HBO's True Blood is Joe Manganiello. You may also recognize him as Flash Thompson in the 2002 Spiderman film, his reoccurring role as Brad on CBS's How I Met Your Mother, and He had a reoccurring role as Owen on the EW's One Tree Hill. And look forward to seeing him the movie What To Expect When You're Expecting along side an all star cast.

4. Pooch Hall

Pooch Hall is one of the Stars of BET's The Game. He plays Derwin Davis a professional football player trying to balance the fame and temptations of pro football with the love of his life Melanie played by Tia Mowary. I fell in love with his character the very first episode, Derwin is everything you could want in a man. (he's at least everything I want!) You can also see Pooch Hall in the recently released movie Jumping The Broom P.S. Pooch/Derwin you can propose to me ANY time ;)

3. Andrew Garfield

You may recognize this handsome man from the Oscar winning film The Social Network. Garfield was also in the film The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus which was the last film Heath Ledger ever worked on before his death. Andrew Garfield has been named on countless 30 under 30 lists and actors to watch. At only 28 it is very clear that he is an extremely talented actor and has much more to offer the world. You can see him next July as he stars as Peter Parker in The Amazing Spider-Man.

2. Sebastian Stan

Sebastian Stan was on the EW's Gossip Girl as spoiled rich boy Carter Basin but lucky he wasn't type casted into that type of character. This summer I fell in love with Sebastian Stan when played Captain America's best friend Bucky in the film Captain America: The First Avenger. He took on the roll of an american hero and he did fantastic. I cannot wait for next years film The Apparition where Stan will star in the horror thriller along side Harry Potter's Tom Felton and Twilight's Ashley Greene.

And last but most certainly least

1. Lance Gross

Seriously, what else is there to say other than DAMN!!! Lance Gross was in Meet The Browns as Michael, Tyler Perry's House of Payne as Calvin Payne and starred in the film Our Family Wedding with the talents of  America Ferrera, Forest Whitaker, Carlos Mencia, and Regina King. That film has to be one of the best heart warming romantic comedies I have seen in a very long time. Lance Gross is obviously beyond a shadow of a doubt an extremely good looking guy and I would love to see him in more movies as soon as possible!!!

Well I hope you enjoyed this it was fun to do :)

if you disagree or know anyone you believe should me on this list or have an idea for another list

just leave a comment :)

I Wrote Some Lyrics: they sound awesome with the tune in my head lol :)

You take a deep breath and you let it out
its time to find out what life’s about
you’re nervous and shaking
but the world is yours for the taking
don’t be afraid you’re not alone
show all these people how far you’ve grown

You take a deep breath and you let it out
its time to find out what life’s about
this is your chance just take it
believe in yourself you can make it
this is your time to shine
to show the whole world you’re better than fine

You take a deep breath and you let it out
it’s time to find out what life’s about
you’ve been timid and waiting
but now its time to stop hesitating
or life will just pass you by
it goes so fast, in the blink of an eye

You take a deep breath and you let it out
It’s time to find out what lifes about

My Dream...

The New York skyline is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. One day I will be there. My dream is to move to New York City and live there as a published author. I know you have all seen the countless movies describing the amazing energy you can only find in the city and how you can run into absolutely anyone at the most unexpected times and that’s only the beginning of the magic this city has to offer. I have had the pleasure to visit NYC once and it was beyond a shadow of a doubt the greatest thing I have ever done. Everyday I wish I was back there living the fantasized New York City lifestyle in a studio apartment, where everything is in walking distance, or taking the subways, and discovering all of the great things you could only ever experience in the Big Apple. I dream about going on romantic walks through Central Park and experiencing the Soho nightlife with my girlfriends. Above all though I want be inspired by the city, the lights, the energy, the people, the history, everything about it just screams art and creativity. Everyday would be a new adventure, everyday thousands of chances to be new people encounter new stories, to really live. I want to be a published New York author, I want to write hundreds of books, thousands of stories with New York City as the back drop to every single one of them because truly this is the place where anything is possible. One day that will no longer be a dream but my reality. I will never give up. No matter who disapproves, or who thinks it could never happen, I will prove them all wrong. Right now this is my dream but not for long…

A kiss is in the rain is all I ever wanted...

Friends

The last twelve months has been an emotional roller coaster to say the very very least. The only highlight of this year amongst a lot of heartache and disappointments is that I have made the most amazing friends and all guys surprisingly. Each one has helped me in a time of need and I am so grateful to each and everyone of them. It may be that we bonded in the fact that we were all heartbroken and all needed each other to get through and we have been close ever since, or that we were there for each other through out the good times and the bad of each others relationships; always there with no judgement just support, it could be that they were there for me from day one and warned me of the trouble ahead and even when I ignored them they still listened and was compassionate of my problems, or maybe they were the cousin of one of my friends and I met them one day and talked a bit on facebook and it didn’t take long for me to realize how amazing they were. No matter how I met them or how often we talk if its all day every day, once a week, or once a month they have made an impact on my heart and I will never forget that and always cherish. They always are there for me when I need them and I will always be there for them in anyway I can. I don’t know how I could ever repay these four great guys that I am so proud to call my friends
Thanks guys you know who you are
I love you all

It Don't Matter To The Sun

It don’t matter to the sun
If you go or if you stay
You know the sun is gonna rise, gonna rise
Shine down on a another day
There will still be a tomorrow
Even if you choose to leave
Cause it don’t matter to the sun, baby
But it matters to me
It ain’t gonna stop the world, no
If you walk out that door
This old world just keeps turning round, turning round
Like it did the day before
You see to them it makes no difference
They just keep on keeping time
Cause it ain’t gonna stop the world, after you baby
But it’ll be the end of mine
What can I say?
What can I do?
I’m still in love
So why aren’t you?
It don’t matter to the moon
Well, if you’re not in my life
No the moon will just keep hanging round, hanging round, hanging round
Like it’s just another night
Find another place to shine down
On some other lover’s dreams
Cause it don’t matter to the moon, baby
But it matters to me
What can I say?
What can I do?
I’m still in love.
So why aren’t you?
And there will still be a tomorrow
Even if you choose to leave
It don’t matter to the sun, baby
But it matters to me
It don’t matter to the sun, baby
But it sure does matter to me

Marcus and Melody

Fate is defined as an inevitable course of events. The true question though is, is fate real or is it just something people made up to put your mind at ease or to make a story sound more romantic. This is what ran through Melody's mind as she was falling asleep in a bed she never imagined she would be in and with a man she thought had been long gone from her life.

Two people who once knew each other in what seems to them as another lifetime ago are reunited randomly on a crowded New York City street...

"Oh my god! Marcus is that you?" Marcus looks up surprised at the sound of his name being called and then became more bewildered when he saw its source. That's when he saw her, Melody, a girl he hadn't even thought about in years. He almost didn't recognize her she looked so different than when they were in college. She was skinnier, her hair was different but he could never forget her eyes. They were a beautiful light blue with gorgeous silver streaks in them. They were like nothing he had ever seen before.

"Wow! Melody damn, how long has it been?" Marcus asks as they give each other a friendly hug.
"About five years buddy, when did you move out here?" She replies.
"My brother Kevin and I moved out here about 4 years ago. What about you?" He responded.
"It has been about three months." Melody answers after a moment, she remembered Kevin and Marcus were inseparable in college. She is still stunned that she is seeing Marcus after all this time and in the most random of places. She can't help but notice how the last 5 years have only made him more attractive. To Melody it seems as if Marcus is taking this whole serendipitous encounter with stride like he knew he would see her. All the while Marcus is thinking back to when he once knew her and wondered how much she had changed or not. Marcus and Melody continued to stand on that street talking, catching up and laughing completely uncaring of the busy New Yorkers that passed them, the honking horns of hundreds of taxis, they were in there own world where no one and nothing could disturb them. Melody couldn't believe her luck running into Marcus like this, she had felt so alone in this huge city since she moved there to write her first novel. That is when she remembered she was going to a meeting with her publisher when she ran into him. She looks down at her phone shocked at the time, and realizing she had been there talking for over an hour and was definitely late for her meeting. She looks up into his gorgeous deep brown eyes and almost decides to play hooky, but this meeting was to important to miss entirely. She feels a tinge of sadness when she decided she has to say goodbye to Marcus.
"Marcus I'm so sorry but I really have to go, I'm late for a meeting." Melody tells him.
Marcus smiles and says,"here give me your phone." Melody does. He puts in his phone number and calls his phone so that he can save her number as well. He hands her back her phone his hand lingering on hers. "I'm going to be calling you Melody, so you better pick up alright." Melody giggles.
"Of course I will." she says. The two hug and go on there separate ways. Both feeling happy about their random meeting and both looking forward to seeing each other once again.

Two days later Melody gets the call she had been looking forward to since the moment they separated that day. Marcus called and invited her to dinner Friday night. Melody before saying yes asks Marcus if his brother, Kevin, who she also hadn't seen in five years would be joining them. Marcus responded,"No it will be just the two of us, that is good for you right?" Melody was more than okay with that she actually preferred it. She had nothing against Kevin obviously they had once been really good friends but there would be more potential for the evening if they were alone.
"Yes that is fine with me." She tried to answer calmly. He told her where to meet him and what time then said goodbye and hung up. Melody was so nervously excited at the thought of having a date with Marcus at least she thought it was a date. Even though time had passed and she had changed in the last five years, Marcus still made her more unsure and nervous than any other man she knew. Marcus was still his natural calm and collected self and looked at every situation from a logical stand point. It was true that he had been thinking about her a lot since they bumped into each other so he to was happy they would be seeing each other again.

So when Friday night finally arrived Melody was so anxious and nervous she tried on at least a hundred different things before she left her apartment but she was there now and she couldn't wait to see Marcus. He had been anticipating this evening and was glad it had finally arrived also. Marcus was excited to get to know the new version of the girl he once knew. They had been such good friends five years ago and he couldn't remember why they ever lost touch in the first place. All of his thoughts about their past were abruptly disturbed when he saw her enter the restaurant. Melody was wearing a beautiful black strapless mini cocktail dress and her skin looked as if it was glowing. Marcus was in awe of her, he couldn't believe this was the same girl he knew back then. When Melody walked into this restaurant she was blown away when she saw Marcus rise from his seat to greet her. She couldn't believe it but she thought that he might have actually grown more handsome in their few days apart. He was dressed in nice slacks and a maroon button down shirt that made his dark skin look even darker. The two sit down at an elegant table and begin chatting about their lives once again.
"I can't believe you are writing your first novel, I remember in college how you use to write all the time and if I remember correctly some of it was about me." He winked at her and smiled. He was right Melody had written about him back then but she had always been embarrassed by that and didn't want to talk about it so she changed the subject quickly.
"So Marcus what is it that you do for a living?" Melody asked casually. Marcus looked back at her with his mischievous smile that she had been all to familiar with five years ago. He then motioned her to lean in, so naturally she did.
"I run a high profile drug cartel here in New York." He whispered in her ear. Melody shocked at his answer froze. Marcus saw the look on her face and instantly burst into laughter. Melody confused just laughed along with him until he said, "Wow you are still as gullible as you were five years ago." Melody was embarrassed at first but she had to laugh at herself. "I own a computer programming firm" he said. the night continued as they drank, ate, laughed and enjoyed each others company. By the time the meal was finished it was obvious to both of them they weren't ready for the night to end. "Do you wanna go to my place?" Marcus asked. Melody said yes and they were both happy she did.

So they walked out of the restaurant, Marcus hailed a cab for the two of them and opened the door for her. Marcus told the driver the address and slid in close to Melody. She enjoyed the fact they were so close. When Marcus grabbed her hand and held it she felt a surge of electricity run through her body and she felt like a nervous teenager all over again. They rode in the cab quietly, not speaking, just staring into each others eyes. Melody leaned into him and he reciprocated the motion, then their lips finally met. It was a kiss like neither of them had ever experienced before. The kind of kiss that makes you weak in the knees. Melody still felt like all of this was surreal, and that surreal feeling didn't fade when they stepped out of the cab in front of a huge, glamorous building.
"You live here?" Melody inquired, as she looked it over she began doubting if he was actually joking back at the restaurant.
"Yep this is home, Come on in." Marcus said as he took her hand and guided her past the door man who greeted them as they entered and into the elevator. Marcus pushed the button for the top floor. They stood for a moment in silence. Marcus began to chuckle to himself. This made Melody feel uneasy.
"why are you laughing?" She questioned. He flashed her that smile again. At that moment when she looked at him she remembered all the emotions from college. Melody had been in love with Marcus then and he never felt the same way about her. That whole ordeal had taught her so much about herself that she never regretted it. Which made this situation even more surreal for her when she was young this was the one thing she wanted above all, a night with Marcus. She had a different outlook on life, love, and the world now but she still felt on cloud nine in his presence. Marcus at that same moment was remembering their college days together and how great a friend Melody had been to him despite the fact that when he rejected her then he broke her heart and now after five years he was determined to not make the same mistakes twice.
"Do you remember the last time we were alone in an elevator together?" He asked her getting even closer to her. Melody definitely remembered and Marcus could tell she could too as her face turned a bright shade of red. Marcus laughed again saying, "You did that the last time too." He leaned into her and they began kissing again. This time more sensually Melody placed her arms around his waist while Marcus placed one hand on her face. They tuned out the world so well when they were together they almost didn't realize they had reached his floor, until they heard the ping of the elevator doors and came back to reality. Melody stepped out into Marcus's apartment, it was huge, it was unlike anything she had ever seen. Marcus asked,"Do you want something to drink Mel?"
"Yeah, sure." Melody replied in a daze of wonderment at the elegance of his home. Five years ago she knew Marcus was going to go places in the world and she was proud that he did just that. She walked over to the kitchen where Marcus stood and said, "Your home is amazing."
"I can't take all the credit I had to hire a decorator to impress the ladies." He said jokingly, They both laughed.
"You really haven't changed at all." Melody said taking a sip of her drink.
"Sure I have." Marcus responded pulling her close to him once again. He placed a kiss on her neck and said, "I'm smarter." He kissed her forehead, "I've grown up since then." He kissed her lips, "you want a tour?"
"Yeah," Melody answered breathless. He led her through his home showing her every room and every piece of art the final room was the bedroom. Marcus walked in and picked up a remote and slow music began to play.
"So you wanna dance?" Marcus asked with a smile. Melody laughed at the suggestion.
"Are you serious?" Melody asked him.
"Yeah why not?" Marcus took her hand and brought her body right up against his and they began to dance. Neither Melody nor Marcus had ever felt so happy and relaxed as they were in this moment together. The two lost friends found something in each other that they never expected to when they met in the street that day. They found love. Melody and Marcus made love that night and they had never felt so connected to anyone as they were to each other that night. Marcus had never felt this way about anyone before and he wanted more than anything for Melody to feel the same. In the early hours of the morning as Melody laid in Marcus's arms about to fall asleep she heard him say the last thing she could have ever expected.
"Melody, I think I love you." Marcus said looking down at her. Melodys' eyes met his and she whispered to him, "Marcus. I think I love you too."

So maybe it was fate that brought Marcus and Melody together again or possibly just coincidence. Melody didn't care she was just grateful for whatever it was that reunited them on the street that day and led them to this moment and to led her to love.


Thanks for reading this everyone :) please leave your comments and thoughts on this im always ready for criticism lol :)

No Prince Charmings Here

Prince Charming is every girls dream
We all hope he is out there waiting
But things are not as they may seem
There is no Prince just awaiting

Girls it is time to awake
From the fantasies we were told
to save yourself from the heartache
And I know this may seem bold

But the dream has to come to an end
If we want a brighter tomorrow
And to allow our hearts to mend
So we can protect ourselves from sorrow

If we believe that every man is Charming
We will only be sorely disappointed
Finding a good man is so hard its alarming
I'm sorry if this leaves you disenchanted

I only warn you now to save you
From the pain that many already feel
I hope you take this advice and find it true
But there are men who are sweet and real

You must know that there is no perfect love story
But there is love out in the world that is guaranteed
And I hope you all find love in all its glory
But it will never be as simple as you dreamed

So I say this now with a weary heart
Because I would love this myth to be true
But with your heart you must be smart
If you want to make it through

My Wish

I wrote this one about two weeks ago when i was going through some stuff hopefully there are people out there that can relate to this...

I wish things were different
I wish you felt the way I do
I wish you could see what I see in you
I wish you would believe me when I say

I would cherish everything with you
You mean so much to me
It kills me that you never look my way
And even if you never do
I just want you to be happy

One day you will find the right woman
She will appreciate you the way I do
And you will give her your heart
She will never let it break

I will never be that girl but I will always be your friend

“If there ever becomes a day where we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.” — Winnie the Pooh

This one is long over due...

Through the ups and the downs
The love and the heartache
There is only one thing I know for sure
You have helped me through it all

I wish I knew how to express to you
How much our friendship means
What an amazing guy you are
I'm lucky to have you looking out for me

I hope that one day I can repay the kindness
You have been such an amazing support
I don't know where I'd be without you
You have made me stronger

And I know I test your patience
But still I know I can always turn to you
I wish more men in the world were like you
I appreciate you more than you know

Thank you for being the greatest friend
Thank you for making me laugh
Thank you for putting up with my drama
Thank you for just being you

I found a quote that fits me perfectly lol :)

“He ignores you, but you like him. He does nothing, but you fall for him, you miss him, even though you know he’s never thought about you.” — Unknown

The heart never wants what it should of that I am sure...

Not Enough

I'm sorry that I'm not all you dreamed me to be
I tried as hard as I could that you can believe
And I've seen that look before
It's followed with condescension and more

Not SMART enough
Not BRAVE enough
Not PRETTY enough
Not STRONG enough

Hearing the same things everywhere you go
From the people you love; It makes you feel low
There is only so many times you can apologize
For not being good enough in their eyes

Not SMART enough
Not BRAVE enough
Not PRETTY enough
Not STRONG enough

I've tried to be who you want me to be
And as you can see sadly that will never be reality
So I say to you, my friends and family
I'm sorry I failed you truly and profoundly

For my very good friend...

Hey :) I would love to thank everyone for your sweet comments :D you guys are amazing! I also want to thank my one of my best friends in the world for being a good sport :) he knows who he is and he knows some of the stuff I write is about him <3 Like my last post lol :) So yep here's another poem, a happy one this time :D

For My Friend

You make my heart skip a beat

And with you no other man can compete

I blush the absolute darkest shade of red

With every touch and every word said

Whenever you are near nothing can be wrong

I think of you when I hear any love song

And I never want these feelings to cease

You give me hope and you give me peace

You are the one I count on till the end

I am incredibly proud to call you my friend

And I am aware you don't let many in

But I'm glad I have gotten under your skin

That was a shorter one but still I hope you enjoyed it :)

Please

Comment

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Do your thing

This one is very important to me...

Alright I first want to thank everyone who commented and read my poems. I greatly appreciate it, it truly means a lot to me. :) Now this is a very important post for me because I am currently working on a short story for one of my best friends he knows who he is :) So yea I would like some feedback on the beginning of the story... there isn't much either. So don't expect it to be like pro status, because trust me it isn't. I just want to know what you guys think. :) K here it is......

Once upon a time… on a secluded island there was a grand kingdom that was tormented by an evil dragon. This dragon had destroyed countless towns within the kingdom and killed thousands of people. The people of the kingdom were tired of living in fear of this dragon. The king and queen of the kingdom had searched high and low looking for anyone who would try and kill the dragon and end their anguish but no person ever made themselves known. Until one day a young man arrived at the castle this young man would soon be responsible for the fate of the kingdom.
Daniel grew up in one of the most rural towns on the island, the town was mostly know for their farm lands. He was one of many field workers in the town and his entire family before him had done the same work. He believed this to be the source of what he calls his “slave strength” which is one of many gifts that makes Daniel superior in comparison to the other citizens of the kingdom. Another unique quality that Daniel possessed was that his body had regenerative powers, meaning that he healed more quickly than the average individual. Daniel when he was growing up had not always been the model child and he stole from the richest man on the island when he was only eight years old. He stole the rarest sword on the island. This sword was amazing because it was indestructible and made of the finest silver in all of the island and it was the only one of its kind. The sword was kept in the owners most secure home but all the security in the world even at such a young age couldn’t keep Daniel from getting it. No one ever suspected him and no one ever found the sword. Daniel referred to it as the mighty Larry. One thing that Daniel couldn’t hide was his faithful pet gorilla Paul. Paul was abnormally large for a gorilla and the only surviving one left on the island. Paul let Daniel ride him around as if he was his steed. The sight of the two of them struck fear into those who didn’t already know of them. That is exactly what happened when Daniel rode into the capital city on Paul with Larry in his hand.

Alright its not finished but yes...

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Whatever

All is welcome

Another poem for you guys...

Ok so this one is a sad one but i hope you guys will still like it and eventually I'm going to put up some of my short stories so be on the look out for that :) Here we go...

All I feel is confusion

Was this all my delusion?

I must be going insane

I keep coming back for more pain

Why did you even bother with me?

Did it make you happy?

Do you now feel strong and powerful?

Well I'm glad I could at least be helpful

What do i do now that you have faded away?

Will you move on to someone new? Or will you stay the same way?

I would have done anything and everything for you

And even now after it all anything and everthing is still true

I miss before when you made me feel wanted

I thought we were good, that we had bonded

But I must have been mistaken

With you my heart you have taken

You are everywhere, I feel like I can't get away

You are in my every thought throughout my day

I would never give it up, even if I could

It's only causing me pain I won't let it go even if I should

I wanted to stay forever feeling the same

But you took it away as fast it came

It was so fast how do I even know it was real?

You are walking around as if it was nothing, no big deal

And now I am alone and restless

This sad feeling is endless

Did I ever truly mean anything to you?

Or were you just bored and looking for something to do?

I'm haunted now by a sole wish

Do i want the truth and anguish?

Or do i remain in the dark fantasy?

Where I can still feel happy

I am still hoping that you will change your mind

And that one day you will return my feelings in kind

But I know that is just unreal

And sadly that is how you make me feel

First Post! I'm Excited!!!

Wow I'm kinda nervous about this but here goes nothing. This is one of my old poems I hope you like it.

You

When I look into your eyes

It is always a surprise

How it makes me feel

It's truly surreal

I love your smile

To deny its pull would be futile

Its completely contagious

I would tell you how i feel if I was courageous

You are an amazing guy

And to you I could never lie

You are my best friend

And I will be here for you till the end

If you ever feel the way I do

That would be a dream come true

But even if that dream will never be

I will always love you, just wait and see

Comment Please!